


moving on

by Daanny



Category: Ghost Hunt
Genre: F/M, Love Confessions, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-16
Updated: 2019-04-16
Packaged: 2020-01-15 00:04:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18487186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daanny/pseuds/Daanny
Summary: Mai and Eugene meet again. This time, it's without the tension that comes along with an investigation but with all the tension of a confession.





	moving on

**Author's Note:**

> i watched the anime nearly 6 years ago, and i kept on putting off reading the manga and ln, but couple days ago, i read the manga and! WAS! introduced! to! Eugene! and immediately fell in love with mai's relationship with him but there's not a lot of fics out there with him, so i figured i'd contribute  
> \------------------------------------------------  
> sidenote--> the author has stated somewhere? apparently? (i still have yet to find the place where she states this) that the canon ship is mai x naru... (i guess i ship it?? kinda?) but tbh tho i feel so bad for naru
> 
> just imagine him wondering if mai's ever comparing him to 'gene... poor guy, feels bad, would give a hug 11/10

“Will we meet again?” were the words I asked.

You didn’t respond that time. Yet as we stand facing each other once again in the space only we knew, there is finally an answer to my question.

“It’s been a while,” I say with a smile. “Can you still not move on?”

“You’re right. I still can’t get near the exit.”

I look down at my hands clasped tightly together. They’re so cold I can see the tips of my fingers turn blue. I rub them against each other and bring them up to my face, huffing out some warm air over them, but they’re still cold.

“Are you cold?” Eugene asks. I nod and he closes his hands over mine. At first contact, his hands are also freezing, but only seconds later, where our hands come in contact blazes over with feverish heat. It feels almost like when I was younger and accidentally touched the stove top, yet it’s not unpleasant, so I make no move to remove my hands from his. Instead, I look up into his eyes.

They’re a dark blue and radiant a kindness that I would never find in Naru’s. Once again, I wonder how delusion I must have been to think of him as Naru. But again, we only met in my dreams during investigations, and I usually am quite disturbed during them… still, that doesn’t sound like a good answer.

“You were cold too,” I say. “Are you warmer now?”

“It makes no difference whether I am warm or cold, as long as you’re comfortable.”

“Oh?” I raise an eyebrow. “Is this the flirt in you resurfacing?”

Eugene’s eyes widen, “I—”

“Don’t worry, Naru didn’t say all that much regarding your past, only that you preferred to, ah, occupy your lunchtime with a number of female students. I did, however, also hear from Lin that you’re an exceptional tree climber; it’s a shame I can’t witness your skills.”

“I must say, this is only the second time we’ve talked so much, yet you seem to show no qualms with the teasing. Does my brother give you a lot of practise?”

“You said it,” I say with a grin. “Anyway, isn’t it about time you let go of my hands?”

“Do you want me to?”

I tilt my head, “Do you want to?”

Even without saying anything, our answers are reflected clearly in each other’s eyes. We burst out into laughter and sit down in the dark, just like last time we met. I lean my head on his shoulder and close my eyes in contentment, still half giggling.

“Ah, you let go of my hands.”

“So I did,” Eugene agrees. A hand clasps over mine and I close my fingers around it. This time it’s without any heat, only a comforting warmth. “But not anymore.”

“You’re right.”

“So I am.”

In the never-ending expanse of darkness that is my dream, there are no lines outlining a building we stood in nor round will-o’-wisps of spirits; only Eugene and I are here, it’s not scary by any means, perhaps solely because Eugene is beside me.

“…’Gene? Have you thought of… what you’re going to do from now on?” I ask, unable to keep the tiniest of trembles out of my voice. Eugene tightens his grip.

“I’m not sure what I _can_ do,” he says light-heartedly, but the frustration is clear. “The exit is right there, yet it’s beyond my reach. I wonder if it’s taunting me.”

“I’m sure it’s not… If I can do anything to help, you’d better tell me!”

“Do you want me to leave?”

My eyes fly open and I sit up straight. I unclasp my hand from Eugene’s and sit back, facing him and looking straight into his eyes, “This isn’t about me. It doesn’t matter what I want. What do _you_ want?”

He’s silent, yet the look in his eyes is the exact same as when Naru is thinking. Eventually, his eyes soften, “I want you to be happy, Mai.”

I swallow, “What a coincidence, that’s exactly what I was thinking.”

“That you wanted to be happy?”

“No!” I move forward and hit him in the arm lightly. He chuckles. “I mean, that too, but more so, I want ‘Gene to be happy.”

“So? How do we be happy?”

“That…” I sit back. “I don’t know. But isn’t it the meaning of life to discover what makes us happy anyway? Isn’t it great that we’re at least on the way to find what brings us happiness?”

“You’re right; that we are.”

Silence fills the void once again, yet it’s once again a comfortable silence. I remember what I resolved myself to tell him after the last time we met and my heartbeat begins to race.

“Eugene?” nearly the only thing I can hear is the thumping of my heart. When he looks up at me with a curious expression, I have to physically force myself to not look away from him. I’m sure redness is spreading across my entire face, but this is something I can do, something I _have_ to do.

“Yes?”

“I like you.”

“Is that so?”

With such a Naru-like narcissistic answer, I frown and once again make sure that Naru is not in front of my eyes and that I haven’t mistakenly confessed to the wrong person again. Yet the person in front of me is certainly Eugene, not Naru, so I wait for an answer.

“Naru… or I?”

“So you heard?”

“I… yes, more or less.”

“Then you should already know the answer to that question.”

“I suppose I do then.”

“You don’t even have an answer to a maiden’s heartfelt confession?”

At this, Eugene broke his eye contact and looked away, scratching at the back of his neck sheepishly, “I… uh…”

It’s my first time seeing this side of him, so I can’t help but try to push him a little further. With a grin, I continue, “I’m sure it’s not the first time you have been confessed to, right? What did you say to the ones before mine?”

“I… I have dated before, but they were often off-put by my closeness with Naru, or our involvement with the paranormal or the crowd of people around me that doesn’t diminish even if I’m dating.”

“So it never worked out?”

“You can certainly say that.”

 _Even if he says yes, this one won_ _’t work out either_ , a voice echoes within my own head. I ignore it.

I already know it, there’s no need for a reminder.

“But they all got an answer, right?”

“Mai…”

“You don’t like me?”

“That’s not it…”

“Oh! So you like me?”

“…Yes.”

“…What?” Even though the thumping of my heart no longer flooded my ears, I still can’t believe the words from his mouth.

“Mai, I like you too. But you have to remember, I’m dead. There’s nothing that can come out of this.”

“I know.”

“Do you?”

“Of course. But just because I understand nothing can ever come out of our relationship doesn’t mean I should keep my feelings for you bottled up.”

“You’re right; it’s not good to do that.”

“That’s why I’m glad I was able to tell you today.”

“I was glad to hear them,” he smiles.

I’m not sure what to do next, but I’ve heard enough from my friends that we should probably initiate some sort of physical contact. I stand up, and Eugene follows suit, albeit with an expression of confusion. I open my arms.

“May I ask for a hug?” I ask, then realize how awkward the words sounded from my mouth and feel my face turning red once again. “Uh—”

“But of course.”

His slim arms wrap around me, and I let my forehead rest upon his chest. Even if I strain my ears to listen for a heartbeat, it’s completely silent. I look up into his eyes again. The corners of his lips are still curled slight up in a vague smile, yet his eyes are despondent. Eugene knew perfectly well that I wouldn’t find what I was looking for.

“Mai…”

“I know. I just— I don’t know… Never mind.”

A long time later, I step back from Eugene’s embrace, “Thank you for granting my wish.”

“It’s not a problem. I also wished for it.”

_Did you?_

His eyes are looking off into the distance, towards something in the darkness my eyes are unable to see. It’s the exit, the exit he can’t get near no matter what he does.

I wonder why you can’t move on? I wonder if I can ever help you move on?

I wonder if I want you to move on?

“I wish we could have met before you…” I say before I realize what I’m saying. Eugene’s forced smile slowly wanes.

“I as well.”

“It’s not enough… seeing you here, in this place.”

“I see.”

His body suddenly begins to fade. Softly lit white spheres form and break off from his body and float up into the darkness. With each sphere that tears itself away, his body gets more and more see through.

“Eugene!” I yell. “Are you… okay?”

“Yes, quite,” he says. But his voice is faint, and I can only barely make it out beyond the ringing in my ears.

Isn’t this what I wished for?

“I see… Goodbye, then.”

“Goodbye, Mai.”

“I’ll tell Naru.”

“I appreciate it.”

His voice is warm, though the streaks of tears down my cheeks are even warmer.

“WHAT DO YOU WANT? I— I never wanted any of this!” Are these my true feelings? I’m no longer sure why I’m directing non-existent anger towards Eugene, but it doesn’t seem like I can stop it. “I just wanted to grow up, to fall in love with a nice person! But you! You—”

“I’m sorry… I’m sure it’s hard for you—”

“That’s _not what I_ _’m saying!_ Why do you always—” my voice breaks. “You’re always putting someone else first! Even now… _you_ _’re_ the one that’s fading away! You’re the one that didn’t deserve to die! It doesn’t matter how I feel! Why won’t you spare yourself some thought? Why won’t you think for your own happiness?”

Eugene pulls me into another embrace, yet I can’t feel his arms around me. I see them around me, I _know_ they’re around me, but I can’t feel them. I wrap my arms around his body, but it only feels like I’m holding them out midair.

“Thank you for worrying about me, Mai… You know… I’m not sure what I wanted. If the days I lived with Naru and our parents continued just like that, I would have been happy. If we were able to meet in peace, I think I would have been even happier.

“I wish time would rewind for us… but that’s probably too much to ask for, huh?”

In another burst of light. Eugene is no more.

A scream rips itself out of my throat and my knees give out from under me. My arm fall through the space Eugene should have occupied but it was as if he was never even in front of me.

I wish time would rewind… even if we could never leave from this darkness, I’d have been okay if Eugene was by my side.

But there’s no way that could happen. I wouldn’t want to live inside a lie… surely… Eugene too…

“Goodbye, ‘Gene… I love you.”


End file.
